They don’t make any firm decisions, but they continue on with their life while they wait to see what is going to happen. Others will basically ask their husband to temporary live somewhere else (or they themselves will stay with family) while he’s still participating in the affair. Some wives see unquestionable progress and have young children, so they choose to wait. The question becomes how long you want to wait for the bubble to burst.Īnd really, that has to be up to you. Statistics also show us that it’s far more common for a cheating spouse to attempt to save their marriage. The numbers are in the single digits, as far as percentages go. Very few relationships that start as affairs end in happy or lasting marriages. Statistics prove that most times, the bubble WILL burst. That doesn’t mean that you need to make any rash decisions, but it makes sense that you’d want to protect yourself while he’s still in the bubble. Until he can end the affair for good and get serious about rehabilitating himself and saving your marriage, no one can fault you for not allowing him to have his cake and eat it too. You certainly don’t have to put yourself on hold while waiting and no one would blame you for not wanting to participate in a marriage that has one too many people. Nothing says that you can’t focus on those things while he is trying to sort himself out. You still likely have a job, an extended family, and friends, plus your own interests. You have a life that is your own and that you can live without just treading water to see what he is going to decide. And meanwhile, I feel as if I have no choice but to just wait.” When I press him, he will admit that the other woman brought out a side to him that he didn’t know existed and that he likes this part of himself, which makes me think that the bubble will never burst. But I always have my suspicions as to when he’s communicated with her because he comes home walking on air, like an addict who has gotten his fix. My husband is basically telling me that he needs time to sort out his feelings and he swears that he wants to keep our family intact. My friends say that I just need to bide my time, but I am seriously starting to doubt that. She might say: “I’ve been told that the affair bubble most always bursts. Needless to say, this can be extremely frustrating for the faithful spouse whose life is going to be impacted by whatever happens. They convince themselves that this relationship just might be the answer for them. They still cling to the idea that the affair is worth all of the sacrifice because, for whatever reason, they need it right now. They see the hurt that they have caused or they are now faced with losing their family and the life that they had, so they come down to reality really quickly. Many husbands have their bubble burst as soon as they are caught. When this happens, the two people having the affair can no longer exist in secret without having to question or to defend their actions. Often, the start of this is when the affair is found out or when someone confesses. Of course, like most things that are too good to be true, reality is often revealed in a harsh way. They convince themselves that they’ve finally found the answer to all their problems and that they can now go through life feeling happy and fulfilled without real world issues interfering. They feel isolated from real, every day life. They live in a “bubble” that is not reality. By: Katie Lersch: Many people describe the fog that people walk around in while having in an affair as an “affair bubble.” It’s described as a bubble because if you’ve ever been around someone who is actively having an affair, you’ll see that some of them have an existence where they are separated from real life.
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